Lapsis Linguae

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Demolition Day

Today is official "Where Did All This Junk Come From?! Day". I'm moving over the next couple days, and having trouble identifying all the stuff in my room. I'm fairly sure I didn't have this much stuff last time I moved, it must all be rabbits in disguise.

Very clever disguises.

Seriously, I'm wondering where all my shtuff is gonna go. My new place is about, oh, a third the size of this one. I think the bedroom will hold my bed, my fishtank, and maybe some of my clothes. Oh, and there is No Storage. This is going to be interesting.

gah, back to tearing apart my room...

Friday, August 11, 2006

Heavenly Vision

So the other weekend when we were in Cannon Beach, I had an unexpected revelation of such amazing and devastating porportions...



ok, nevermind, I'm full of it. I just had no idea that this was in Seaside. I would have guessed it was in some greasy mid-west booneyville. Hunh.

Monday, August 07, 2006

And we let them run the country...

Full credit goes to Dave Berry's "News of the Weird" column for providing this little gem:

"The District of Calamity: The District of Columbia government's payroll for 2005, reported by the Washington Times in July, included 1,268 employees paid over $100,000 a year (including 43 over $150,000 a year). The figures for Baltimore (with a slightly larger population) were 55 and two, respectively, and Chicago, with five times the population of D.C., still had fewer employees in both categories. In fact, even though the D.C. workforce has shrunk by 2,000 workers since 2002, the annual payroll has increased by $180 million. [Washington Times, 7-16-06]"

And yet the have the cojones to put this on their license plates:


Wonder why.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

The Story of Three Tooth and The Gift.

So I was driving over to Jen's house yesterday, and got stuck at an irritatingly long stoplight. The kind where it's totally clear and green when yer driving up to it, so you speed up, and just as you hit that "point of no return" it turns yellow and then red in 1.5 seconds and you hafta slam on the brakes and end up sticking halfway into the intersection anyways.

Now this particular intersection, which sits at the top of an offramp, is known not only for it's retarded light timing but is also infamous for the bums that hang out on the corners panhandling. I don't know how they work the schedule, but there seems to be a rotation that they are all signed up on. Last week there was a middle aged couple that was kinda funny. The guy would stand on the corner with the sign, and the gal would wander around the intersection yelling at him to "try over here" or "maybe it'd work better if you stood this way" or "don't smile so much". They both appeared healthy-ish (well, as healthy as a bum can look I suppose), until one day later in the week the dude has his left arm a couple fingers wrapped up in a large Ace bandage. It looked pretty bad, and I found myself wondering what a homeless person does to get their arm that jacked up. I wondered about that right up until the next time I was over there a day or two later and the bandage had mysteriously disappeared.

God does work miracles!

None of that is the point of the story, though. Just the background. Like I started off saying, I was stuck at this light yesterday for forever, and a new guy was on the corner, as fate would have it, right next to my car. When yer parked next to them, they always get really friendly, which irritates me. I have nothing against panhandling in general, but once I've given you the "not today" signal, leave me the heck alone. Anyways, this guy, I'll call him Three Tooth (cuz that's how many he had), he's got his little sign and just kinda sitting there on the edge of the guard rail looking at me and the other drivers and hoping someone will eventually feel sorry for him. It wasn't workin though. Maybe he should try bandaging his arm.

Picture the scene - there are two lanes at the top of this offramp. One is a straight/left turn, one is a right turn. I'm trying to make a left. The whole time I was sitting there, people were flying through the right turn lane. Not even bothering to stop or look. Of course they had a green arrow, that helped. But then it turned red.

One truck, a shiny new black Toyota Tacoma, comes to a stop. There are three Hawaiian dudes in it, and they're just cruisin, windows down and tunes turned up. Suddenly the driver hops out of the cab and jumps in the back of his truck. I think to myself "That's peculiar." He rummages around for a moment and stands up with a dripping sixer of Corona, apparently fresh from the cooler. My mind wanders over to "I wonder what him and his buddies plan to do with that", assuming they are familiar with Washington state drinking and driving laws.

But then this dude runs across the street and hands the six pack to Three Tooth! I don't know who was more surprised, me or the bum. The Hawaiian dude just waves, hops back in his truck, and takes off. Three Tooth is standing there in shock, unable to believe to what just happened. Was it a dark skinned angel from God that just paid him a visit? Perhaps. But then his mind clicks into gear again, he gets a the hugest grin on his face, and he starts dancing arond holding the beer with all the care of a newborn baby. Suddenly he stops, notices us all watching him, and quickly (but carefully) hides the Corona in the bushes behind the guardrail.

Now I don't know this guy's life story, but let me tell you, that gift of beer was the happiest moment in Three Tooth's week. He was grinning from ear to ear, and twitching in happiness. He couldn't even sit down because the excitement was just bubbling out of him! He kept looking after the truck and waving, and looking around at all of us with sheer joy shining out of his eyes. Then the light turned green, and I drove away, chuckling to myself becuz the guy's happiness was that contagious.

I don't generally advocate the giving of alcohol to bums. The line between generousity and enablement is a fine one, and I struggle with that difference. But let me tell you, when the Hawaiian Party Guys gave that six pack of beer to the Homeless Dude, that was the most Christian thing I have seen in quite awhile. It was no sacrifice for the guys in the truck, and that one selfless action totally made Three Tooth's night. And there I was sitting in my car, pretending to be very interested in my iPod, and thinking "I've got 6 bucks in my wallet, which isn't much, and I might need it later."

That act of charity really made me think. Most Christians would frown at it, and say things like "that guy should just get a job" and "don't give him that beer, yer only encouraging him". For some reason it really touched my heart though, and was for me probly the most shining example of kindness and generosity I've seen in some time.

God works in funny ways.